Is it true? Are Blogging Events the Same to Women as Golf is to Men?

You tell me - Can you see how blogging events for women are not that different from golf for men?

Let me give a little background to this line of thinking.

Early this summer, I heard about an awesome event in NYC this weekend, coordinated by several wonderful blogging women I know. It's a branded event with swag and they said I could bring my kids. I was a little hesitant knowing that my kids have just about aged out of the clothing store being promoted but MANY, MANY women I know are going and I thought it would be fun for myself and my kids.

{Insert husband}

"Why do you want to go? We could do something together as a family on Saturday."

{Romantic heart beats wildly. He DOES love me. He DOES love me. Not that I EVER questioned that but we're going through a seriously busy phase in our lives where our work and hobbies keep us separate ALOT.}

"And, for the money you would spend, we could go to the outlet mall and buy whatever we want."

{Rational mind kicks in. Yes, I just took the girls to a toy showcase in NYC earlier in the summer and it cost me almost $250 to take them with me, between train tickets and food and fun dresses and shoes being sold by street vendors that they simply HAD to have. Sure, we came away with bags of swag but was the cost worth it? I would say yes but is this event too similar and what will it cost us this time?}

"And you want to go with your sister to the Statue of Liberty next weekend after going this weekend?"

{Yes.}

"We should stay home and do something local. Please pick one weekend to go, not two."

{You sold me at "we," honey.}

But, I couldn't let it rest. I wanted to explain the "why." Why is this important to me? Why would I spend the money?

BECAUSE I FIND IT FUN! But, my husband doesn't relate. REALIZATION 101: HE MAY NEVER RELATE.

{Wait, I've already told people I was going and I'd drive. How do I let them down? My husband's "we" still echoes in the back of my brain and I know I'm going to cancel anyway but I need to answer this for all the future events out there in the offing that are already on the schedule for Fall.)

"But, you haven't explained to me why?"

AHHH. . . a lightbulb flickers and grows strong.

Because, blogging events for women are what golf is to men. You spend time and money which may or may not be "profitable" in your business future and you do it because you love the comraderie, the shopping, the connections. And, yes some of those connections are profitable in ways beyond money. And, it's the conversations that take place in real life that makes things happen. The train rides, the follow-up dinners after the event, the little hashtags that bring us together, the exhausted plop on the exhibit hall floor and in comfy hallway chairs where high heels are kicked off and everyone processes the event in their own way, strengthening relational ties with comparison of notes and experiences.

When my husband and I were first dating, we went to see one very hilarious comedian who had an act called "Defending the Caveman." I believe he went on to becoming a Broadway solo act. He talked about the history of men as hunters and women as gatherers. Of course, he applied it the very apropo example of men loving to fish and hating to admit failure by asking for directions and women drawing out their shopping experience to take in all the colors and textures.

But, golfing and blogging are to the hunter and gatherer example what shopping was. Men need to hunt a little white ball while they connect, discuss, plan. Women need to be surrounded by the pretty colors, sounds, and textures of being with women to plan, connect, discuss as they take in the new products being offered and are handed little gifts. Oh, the joy!

At least, that's how I see it. Off my soap box now. If you agree and need a rationalization to give your husband, feel free to use this one!

I told my husband if I stayed home, we were invading his cave and cleaning out our offices, the garage, the pantry and all cluttery spaces before school starting next week (where swag has settled into dusty corners and filled the crevices of our home with STUFF). And, he was okay with that. And, . . . we are doing it together.

What do you think?

Comments

[ClassyMommy]

We'll miss you but it's never a wrong decision when you choose your family first. xoxo ps and i love the analogy blogging is to women as what golf is for men.

[Life with Kaishon]

I am glad you stayed home with your husband : )
Blogging is sensational...but family is everything!
Love your analogy though. Perfect!

[Barb @ A Life in Balance]

Love it! The analogy works for me!

It is very easy to say yes to a lot of blogging stuff that may or may not take time away from your family. I know for me this school year, I'm being careful about what I commit to, and I'm staying close to home for conferences.

[Jennifer Auer]

My husband feels the same. Our events get to be too much. This week we've had 3. Next week is more. So this is one of those weekends I need to opt to stay home and veg with the family.

[Claudine Wolk]

I think you should have his support to go to an event that is line with your business and something you are passionate about. I also think it would be nice if your hubby watched the kids so that you could do it by yourself without having to worry about the kids. How often do we send our children to work (or golf, to your point), with our spouses? It seems to me that "family time" is sometimes batted around by our spouses when in reality, an underhanded reason is at play - he wants you home, he doesn't want you to spend money. All this being said, I would totally be doing the same thing you are doing and stay home with the family! (sorry for the dissenting opinion, especially as I do not know ALL the facts in this case!) love your blog!

[Sarah Peppel]

That's not dissenting. I agree and he's been pretty understanding. I do let fun get in the way of saving money sometimes though. I need him to reel me back in sometimes. It's all good. ;)

[Carrie]

I was on the fence about going, too. Just like you said, do I give up a day of family time and a boatload of money to attend? I'm still pretty sure I'm going, when I wrote down the "pros" they outweighed the "cons". But, in your case, the "cons" of going-- even if it's just one, and that one is family time-- would certainly outweigh the "pros!"

I'll meet you at the next event. ;-)

[Nancy Vecchione]

I love this analogy..unfortunately I do not have a husband who golfs! I'd never get away with it...but I do have a husband who lives for movies (and we're not just talking one movie, we're talking having a copy of EVERY movie he ever watched!) BORING for me, obviously not so to him. To him it's the fun of the gadgetry. He rarely ever watched a movie twice. Once in awhile he'll lend them to our daughters but to me it is an INCREDIBLE waste. So I give him his movie (and his own room that is filled w/gagetry) and he'd better never suggest I NOT go to a conference. Of course what he doesn't understand is WHY ITS ALL WOMEN! Does he blog? Nope. So why does he care? He's always on the lookout to eat out! LOL. God forbid I get to eat out and he doesn't. He makes me laugh. By this stage of our marriage if I weren't laughing I'd have divorced the man long ago! My kids are grown so we only have two of us at home so we get plenty of time together. So I deserve some time w/other women.

[Sarah Peppel]

@Nancy - LOL. Absolutely, you do! My husband doesn't golf either but my dad did and brother does. My husband spends his time on home improvement projects which is awesome but still doesn't help him relate to my blogging events. He likes gadgets too! His biggest issue was spending the money to take the girls with me (trip $ x 3). That's fine. I have tons of stuff to do here anyway and I have a busy, busy Fall! Sometimes it is nice to have someone tell you when to stop running and rest a little. Have a great weekend!